One of the things that is constantly on my heart, OF COURSE, is the love of my life. For those curious, I would like to say that long distance relationships do indeed work if you are willing to take the time and energy to learn the dance--and trust me, it's one of the more difficult ones to master (I haven't even advanced to above average yet, lol).
A LDR, I am learning, is an art; it's hard to go through everyday life with their slightest of touches lacking. For example, I really miss the warmth of his breath on my cheeck when he would hold me goodbye. Even the gentle little pokes on my arm to get my attention, or the sound of his contagious laugh leave my days filled with pinholes of lonliness.
Yes, you have to be willing to sacrafice abundantly. I've personally given up MULTIPLE unecessary (but fun) social gatherings to spend quality time on the phone with him. Hahah, I even close my eyes and look like an idiot to the mirror and the angels as I make facial expressions and hand gestures as if he were in the same room. It's full of sacrafice, full of lonliness that leaves you empty on the inside, full of frustration...but it's do-able and sssssoooo worth it.
Re-reading what I wrote, I said it was full of frustration. Let me clarify what one of the greatest frustrations are: the lack of understanding the body of Christ (not the world)have when it comes to young love and the deep pain of seperation. Before I continue, I would like you to note I am not lashing out or being judgemental here; if it appears that way then it's probably that a lot of my wounds concerning this issue haven't healed yet so...bear with me. ;)
I can count on over 100 hands how many people have come up to me or Matthew to inform us that the "in-love" stage will pass away soon and then the rigors of "real life" will begin...
Real life? :/ Oh, okay...but, what's your point? Why do you feel the need to cut down the stage we are in now to tell us what we are already aware of? I understand, if your great intentions are to forwarn us, I appreciate your sincerity of heart and...er...concern?? I fully understand it's going to "end", but what I don't get is why try and get us out of it as fast as you can? I am learning the "in-love" stage is there to be fully enjoyed when you are in it. When "real life" comes, you can reflect back on that beautiful part of your history together that has worked as super glue to keep you locked in an everlasting covenant.
Song of Solomon 8 says:
"Place me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm..."
In my humble comentary, I believe this means the seal of love is an inward doing (heart, unseen, can't be removed) as well as an outward expression (arm, evident to all, can be taken off); both are important to create a "love that is as strong as death, its jealousy as fierce as the grave...many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away."
It's obvious in the greatest love book of all time that the auther is saying you need the outward seal as well as the inward seal that keeps you bound decades later. It would be nice if the seasoned couples, those who are walking out the "seal upon the heart" stage would not try and rush us who are going through the "seal upon the arm" stage. It would be nice if they could remember how important it was in their own romantic relationship and not get so nerfed with the fact we ARE just beginning. But I guess extreme outward expressions of love are utterly scorned (SOS 8:7) so there is not much to do but shrug, keep calm and carry on. ;)
I said all of that to say, yes, I know our expressions have been really mushy-gushy to everyone else, but if you are to peel back the layers of goo, you will probably see tender and vulnerable emotions of budding love in their immaturity (immaturity meaning new, just beginning, not quite strong).
I said all of THAT to bring readers to the point that being immature, growing and learning is not a bad thing at all! It IS okay and should be enjoyed (I'll blog about my mind-blowing revelation God gave me on immaturity one of these days, lol).
If you were to do an in-depth study of the Song of Solomon in the facet of a paradigm of Jesus and His Bride (rather than the natural sense), you will see that the journey of the Bride begins immature and ends with her coming up from the wilderness, "leaning on her beloved.(SOS 8:5)" But never once does Jesus rush her to get up from "sitting beneath the apple tree," (SOS 2:3-6) to leap over mountains with Him (SOS 2:8-10). He actually exhorts everyone around her not to, "arouse or awaken His love until she is ready to move on," until she has fully received everything she can from that season of time (SOS 2:7).
It's an 8-song journey with steps that are NEVER meant to be rushed, crushed or frowned upon...
It's painful to experience the deep lack of understanding people have had on the falling in love season of my life, that is the plain and simple truth. But I have learned much through others' mistakes. I have learned I don't ever want to forget the wounds I have felt. When I have children of my own, I want the Holy Spirit to guide me in all wisdom and understanding in handling my kids falling in love with their future spouses and rejoice with them--I want to do is as correctly as I possibly can. I don't ever want to forget what it was like to be so in-love with someone you can hardly think straight, where being a part from them feels like your heart is being rung and wrenched and twisted like a towel. I don't want to ever forget what it was like when my tender, vulnerable, inexperienced heart reached out for someone to at least TRY to understand my situation. Instead I would receive a slap of reproach and reprimanding on how I wasn't doing it right; they would say the love I have for my fiance is going to dim until it becomes nothing but hard labor without enjoyment.
Hm. I once thought falling in love was meant to be the greatest adventure of my life, but the people I longed to rejoice with the most pulled back. I won't go into depth, I'm not out to expose a singular person's flaws. Rather I want to expose something I find flawed in the Body of Christ in general (I am 100% guilty of this myself). And that grips me with sorrow! I've seen it in my own relationship situation as well as countless others, so this is actually a pretty common thing.
I guess there is just a lack of fundamental values in the church PERIOD. A lack of servanthood, a lack of TRUE love for one another, a lack of calling forth other's destiny. We have a tendency to see an area of lack or immiturity in others and get consumed with the desire to fix it for them.
I felt that the subject of "young love" is a good springboard for what has been highlighted to me in this season of life that I personally would like to see change in. That the expression of TRUE Christianity would change. That the lack of understanding others would be traded in for deep love and deep revelation that only the Holy Spirit can give us. To win the lost, we first have to change the way we relate to our brothers and sisters in Christ...
And now my mind has drawn a blank (lol No alarm, folks, this happens quite frequently). :P Anyway...
I know this was scattered with about four different ideas going on here, but it's late in the night, I have homework assignments due in the morning and I wanted to give a brief highlight of what's been going on in my heart and head. I'll update soon, hopefully, next time with a bit more clarity. :)
Adios!
~Rose
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