Lyrical Pornography

I'm coming clean, I'm going cold turkey
I'm telling the truth even if it hurts me
Like almost half the Body of Christ,
I've been involved in Pornography...
L Y R I C A L  P.O.R.N.O.G.R.A.P.H.Y

*Note: I'm not condemning anyone. I am coming forth with a revelation I have received from the Lord concerning my own life.

I've never really admitted this before but I've been very careless in the music I've been listening to.
I'm not talking not just mild stuff; we are dealing with stuff from Akon, Niki Minaj, Lady GaGa, whatever would interest me or have a catchy beat. Stuff with the F-bomb dropped more then once (when it shouldn't be dropped at all).

And this is coming from the girl who would get on people so harshly for listening to anything but Christian stuff.

To backtrack a bit, I've been raised in a home schooler house where things were SUPER strict. It was so crazy at times, a simple trip to Wal-Mart would produce massive tears due to the American Culture shock. And I was 20 years old when this happened. I was so unexposed to the craziness of the world that when I moved out on my own and had it slap me in the face everyday, I did as most of the sheltered church kids do.

I just went crazy.

It got so bad at times I caused my Fiance a lot of sorrow (he's SO against that kind of music). Any kind of music (as long as it wasn't demon-screaming) I was okay with listening to. Any music, and any people I associated with was okay...and I expected him to understand that; if he tried to tell me otherwise, I would raise Cain and hell for him. My greatest argument? "Stop controlling me like my parents," because it was my life, my choices and, "you're just standing in the way of letting me be my own individual person) Oh God, luckily for me, he was kind to love me through it--despite the pain I caused him--until I learned this lesson on my own.

That is SO wrong, and I'm SO ashamed even typing it out, but it's the truth. I'm not perfect, it was 100% wrong of me to take advantage of his love in that way and be manipulative with my words; I'm pleased to say I'm making drastic changes in this area of my life and our relationship.

The great thing about all of this is, as bad as I am, I am so glad we are never too far out of God's reach.

God has been moving on my heart since I went back home to Louisiana and away from the "Christian" college life.
It was refreshing, that trip home. I can remember just walking up on the levy with my fiance and looking out at the majestic beauty of the bayou every evening, my spirit coming alive. I cracked my Bible open more there then I did my entire time at college. I started re-building my relationship with God again (at a slow pace) and started feeling my sanity return (literally, the stress of life has been getting unbearable to where I DO feel my sanity stretching).
The whole time I was in Louisiana I listened to Christian or country music. No hip-hop, no rap, no woe-is-me-emo-band crap. I rarely cursed, I went to bed early every night; I started feeling structure return to my life.
Now let me fast forward to now. The other day, I started feeling really sick when listening to Lady Gaga; my spirit just started cringing. And when I put on Niki Minaj's Starship song, that was the end of it. I just couldn't do it anymore. I turned it off and was just SO disgusted--even the edited versions that take out the fowl language wasn't appealing anymore.
My fiance gave me his itunes account with over 1,000 songs--all Christian--on it. And here is a song my Fiance loves that REALLY spoke to me and brought revelation to my heart.
The song goes through the lives of three people and how music like that has affected them--from the young to the old--and its negative effects in their lives. It's powerful. The lines that mean the most to me are:
Now you can say these songs don't hurt nobody
And you can say those words don't move your body
But once it's in your brain: Ladi-dadi-daa-de
It's lyrical pornography



It just really started to weigh heavy on my heart, the words of that song. I realize now how those lyrics affect me just as bad as pornography ever could--but the worst part is, even though I didn't, I was just as guilty as if I had watched soft-core porn. I was just like: :o wwooww. I don't like that fact.
Anyway, the more I thought about it, the more I realize this music isn't just affecting ME and my generation, it's affecting the toddlers and children of my geneartion. Don't believe me? Okay, take for example young Sophia Grace.

The cute little five-year-old from Britian got her start to fame by appearing on the Ellen show singing Niki Minaj's song, "Super Bass." You may say it's cute, how she memorized that whole rap song, but have you actually listened to those words? The kid is commiting to memory lyrics about taking her panties off for any guy who turns her on sexually or just gives her a look.

People...she's five.years.old. That's just not right. This music is affecting everybody and it DOES hurt us. Maybe not now or in the moment, but ten years about singing stuff like that WILL begin to produce fruit...and it won't be pretty.
I made up my mind I don't want anything to do with that music anymore. I'm going to do whatever it takes (including blocking my youtube account) to break ties with those songs. I want to guard my ears and heart again. Not just for myself, but for Fiance and our future family. After all, the minute you say "yes" to a guy's proposal you no longer live for yourself--a life of sacrafice starts then, not at the alter with the I Do's.
And that's all I have to say. Take it as you want, I'm not here to argue, just share my revelations.